Friday, December 30, 2016

Marriage is Hard

Y'all, can I just be honest about something? Marriage is HARD. It takes work, commitment, love, forgiveness, & communication. It takes continually yielding to the Lord and asking for His help and wisdom. We need His strength to love like we should, we need His grace to extend kindness and selflessness to each other. I, for one, cannot do it in my own strength, sometimes a simple "I'm sorry" feels like trying to swallow a brick.

We may look completely carefree, happy and totally in love, and we are, at our best. But we are also so broken. We are working through some tough things. We are learning how to change and grow as life brings ups and downs and crazy curves. We are selfish at times and we hurt each other. We are lazy sometimes and don't want to put in the work for intimacy. We get lost and forget from whom comes our help.

We have had A LOT of changes and challenges over the past few years - three kids, three big moves, new jobs, heartache, struggles with anxiety and depression, questions and rough patches in our relationship with the Lord. (A lot of amazing too - but I think I usually do a good job of highlighting all the good -- SO much to be thankful for 😊)

I don't even know why I'm saying all this, but I felt like maybe I should. I don't want to present picture perfect when that's not reality. It is part of our reality, and for that I am very thankful. At our best we are madly in love and absolute best friends.

On this trip we had some best moments and some pretty poor moments. We bickered, we snapped or shut down, we hurt each other. We had to talk it out even when we didn't feel like it. And in all honesty, I'm still lost sometimes - I don't know how to do all of this right -- that's why we need help, guidance, community and prayer (I need to be doing a lot more of this). Right? Someone remind me of this tomorrow when I forget.

I am SO thankful for time away with my love, the love of my life, that's what he is and always will be, even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it. I choose him every day and I hope and pray he continues to choose me every day. But I think it's so important that we both first choose Jesus each day. That makes choosing each other so much easier.

We had a great time on this trip. It was so good for us to get away. To be carefree and have fun. We had so much fun. To go on adventures and make memories together. Ah, we will remember this trip forever (I took a million pictures to be sure of that 😉). And, it was good to have some fights - to see that some of our issues are real issues without being able to blame them on something or someone else.

All this to say, we are in the thick of it, probably right beside you. We have what I consider to be a pretty great marriage and it is still hard. We still mess up and argue more than I would like. I hope this is honest in the right ways and that it provides some encouragement. Keep at it, seek Jesus, ask for help, pray, have community, and take time for your marriage - preaching to myself here...

Friday, April 3, 2015

Tis' a Good Friday Indeed

Today is Good Friday but my heart is heavy as I remember and think on the death of Christ. How He died for us, in our place. The heaviness of our sin that He willingly took upon Himself. The way He was beaten for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities. The weight of the whole world was literally on His shoulders as He carried that cross to Calvary. And He took all of this willingly, because He loves us so, and because of His love and devotion to the Father. He was obedient even unto death - a death and punishment that He in no way deserved. And the Father, out of His great love for us, willingly gave His one and only Son to be the propitiation for our sins. What great sacrifice, what great love.

I am still working to fully understand and accept such love. I want the weightiness of this event to really sink in. I want to appropriately morn the suffering that God the Father and God the Son endured for us, on our behalf. I want to be sobered. I want to weep in gratitude. Thank You, God. Thank You, Jesus. May I learn more and more how to accept and appreciate this incredible gift. And may my life display my thankfulness and bring glory to the Lord, the giver of the greatest gift of all time.

And what a joy that we get to look forward to Easter Sunday. The day we celebrate Christ's resurrection. What a pivotal and glorious day. Jesus not only died for us, but He conquered death and the grave FOREVER. Such a miracle on which our faith is built.

This truly is a special weekend. May it be regarded and celebrated as such in our hearts and minds and in our activities. May many who are lost be found this weekend. May we truly lift up the Lord so that He can draw all people unto Himself. Thank You, Jesus for your death and resurrection - THANK YOU, THANK YOU. It is because of these events that we have hope, salvation, abundant life here and now, and the promise of eternal life. Amen!?!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Thankful for this Extraodinarily Ordinary Day

A journal entry from a few days ago:

Sitting here in the semi quietness of my home. One little baby is fast asleep, her sweet rhythmic breathing near enough to hear. The other little guy is in his room for a nap, but has instead been playing somewhat quietly for the last hour and a half. I'm stealing a few moments alone with the Lord. Reading my devotional, sipping on coffee and whispering quiet prayers to my Jesus - mostly prayers of thankfulness. In this moment, my heart is incredibly full as I am reminded of God's great faithfulness and amazing goodness. Such undeserved favor and blessings in my life.

When I think about my happy babbling toddler in the next room or my sweet, peaceful, sleeping beauty right next to me, or my handsome, hardworking husband who should be home from work in a couple hours, I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Oh the joy. And while these may be my greatest blessings, they are certainly not my only blessings and with that knowledge my heart is overwhelmed once more.

God is so good. That is a fact that I hold on to, on the ordinary and extraordinary days. A knowledge that keeps me going and reminds me to be thankful, during the best and worst of times. I know challenges and trials will come and I know some days remaining thankful will seem nearly impossible, but today, in this moment, on this very ordinary day, I say, "Thank-You, Thank-You, Thank-You, Lord!"

I am so thankful for this ordinary day, full of changing diapers, soothing cries, dishes, laundry, baby smiles, toddler giggles and enthusiasm, walks and playing outside, showers, baths, dinner, reading stories, a few brief moments alone with my man and the familiar bedtime routine. I am even thankful for the exhaustion that I feel as my head finally hits the pillow, because it was a full day. And this ordinary day was riddled with so many extraordinary moments. Moments that demonstrate my Savior's magnificent love and unparallelled beauty. Moments that make memories to be cherished for a life-time.

Today I am thankful for the right now - for all that it is and all that it is not. Today is the perfect today.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Pictures & A Tiny Update

We were so blessed to be able to get some pictures done recently and instead of posting them all on Facebook, I thought I would share them here. Beware there are a lot of pictures - 37 to be exact! :)


I am so incredibly blessed by my beautiful and wonderful family.

Pregnant feet, good thing I got a pedicure ;)

Such a handsome little man we have been blessed with - love him!

This one cracks me up, Elijah was much more interested in playing on the beach and in the sand than he was in taking pictures, in this one he yelled "Stop-it/freeze, bobos" haha from "Go, Diego." Sorry to those of you who have no idea what I am talking about. Either way, it is obvious that he had had enough :)

I love holding hands with my man! Although, we are holding hands kind of oddly in this picture, I think it is because my fingers were starting to swell...haha oh the joys of pregnancy.

 I love this one.

And this one - little sandy booty.

Happy family.

It was SO bright, but I this one still turned out okay, even though we were barely able to keep our eyes open - haha.

Oh goodness he is so cute! LOVE this little boy!!

And we are so excited to meet the next little Moeckl.

He adores his daddy and this makes me so happy.

Some belly shots :)

Kisses!!! Whether he likes it or not...haha

Such a little boy. Love this shot. Oh my heart.

So there you go, hope you enjoyed. A huge shout out to Peacock Photography for these awesome pictures! We love them.

These days we are just awaiting the arrival of our second baby - baby girl Moeckl, Makayla Grace - ahh! We are so excited. I am feeling huge-pregnant, but otherwise okay. We are praying that she makes her debut soon, but in God's perfect timing. And hopefully His timing is early because otherwise my husband will be away for a month of training starting May 4th. He will only be about 4 hours away so depending on how it all goes he may still be able to make it back in time. Either way, please join us in praying that he will be there for the birth. Thankfully, I will have help from my wonderful Mother, sister, and mother-in-law while Ethan is away. We are grateful and excited.

Monday, April 8, 2013

My (VERY) Imperfect Perfect Life

My name is Hannah Elizabeth Moeckl, I am a 25 year old soon-to-be mother of two, wife, sister, daughter, friend & nurse (who is currently not working). I am extremely thankful for my life, family & friends. I know I am blessed beyond what I could ever deserve and most importantly I have been redeemed by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All those things make me feel like my life is perfect in many ways, but as far as having it all together and actually being the ideal image that I have of myself, let me assure you, I am FAR from perfect. My life is far from perfect.

The truth is that my house is usually somewhat messy and disorganized, there is almost always laundry that needs to be done and dishes waiting on the counter or in the sink to be cleaned.

There is always a closet, counter or cabinet that needs to be more organized.

There are usually crumbs on the counter and crumbs, dirt and hair on the floors. I sweep - sometimes, and I vacuum when we are having people over. I haven't mopped the floors since we moved in, in October (my sweet, very helpful husband may have mopped a couple times - thank the Lord for him)!! I scrub the bathrooms when they get really/noticeably dirty or when we are expecting company.

I rarely make my bed. I only brush my teeth once a day. I put make-up on only when I am going out of the house and usually just mascara. When I shower (usually every-other to every 2-3 days) I wash my face, and occasionally, I put on more make-up and fix my hair. Most days I am in black yoga pants and a tee-shirt. I am not nearly as in shape as I would like to be, I have (lots) of stretch marks and things that jiggle. I have gained more weight (34lbs so far) with this pregnancy than I anticipated/determined and I am not even done yet. I try to go walking, but right now, that is about it.

Many days my toddler stays in his PJs for the majority of the day.

I make dinner, a few times a week, the rest of the time we eat left overs or we go out/bring food in. I make myself and my kiddo a very healthy smoothy most mornings, but I also have dessert almost every night, and I don't skimp on the treats/snacks throughout the day. I try to limit Elijah's T.V. time, but he usually watches at least a couple shows every day.

I try to be purposeful with my time, but many days when Elijah naps I sit down on the couch with a snack and a show or two. I take quiet time (time with the Lord) most mornings. I am so thankful I have the time and freedom to do this right now, but sometimes I do other things instead, or sometimes it is not nearly as profound or intimate as it could be.

My husband and I try to walk in love and connect regularly, but sometimes we argue as soon as he walks in the door and sometimes we sit and watch a show together rather than expend the energy it takes to connect in other (often better) ways.

So, my sweet friends, sisters, brothers, fellow mothers, all that to say that I DO NOT have it all together. I fail to stick to resolutions or make the "right" choices over and over again. Sometimes I get really down about it, lots of times I like to hide all those imperfections. I am guilty of putting on masks and trying to act like I have it all together or pretending that my failures really don't bother me. Sometimes, I feel completely unworthy and downright shameful. At times, I truly think I have nothing to offer.

BUT, my wonderful, beautiful, amazing Savior keeps reminding me that His GRACE is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weaknesses.

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Corinthians 12:9

For this reason, I rejoice in my weaknesses and failures. It reminds me of how desperately I need a Savior, and it allows the Lord to show Himself strong in me/my life.

This exposure of myself is not to make any one feel better or worse about themselves, because, after all, we are not to compare ourselves among ourselves.

"For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." II Corinthians 10:12

Rather, this is an attempt at being raw and honest; An endeavor to point myself and hopefully others to Jesus. To remind us that our worth does not come from what we do, who we are, or how we look. That we are not better or worse for failing to live up to standards that we or others have set. That our life is not more or less perfect based on how clean our house is, how well behaved our children are, or how put together we look. We have value and worth because Jesus says we do, and our life can at least have perfect moments because of the blessings that Jesus has so graciously bestowed upon us.

I want the Lord to continue to challenge me and help me to grow in many areas. And, Lord willing, one day, I will be better and more disciplined in certain areas, but it will only be by His grace and through His strength. In the mean time (throughout the process), I want to be real and honest, because I have discovered that there is so much value in offering yourself JUST AS YOU ARE (today) - to others and to Jesus.

Monday, March 18, 2013

This Thing Called Trust

I am learning that I am not so good at this whole trust thing. I mean if someone asked me if I was a trusting person, I would say, "yes, definitely!". Do you trust God? "Of course!" But lately God has really been asking me to trust Him, every moment of every day, and I am realizing just how hard that can be. Completely trusting in the Lord means letting go of all control, something with which I am not very comfortable. Sometimes I will let go of controlling something, place it in His hands for a while, but I am all too often guilty of taking it back and trying to control it again. I KNOW in my head that He is the absolute best person to trust with anything and everything, and I want to, but actually walking it out is the hard part. Not allowing fear or worry to creep back in, not allowing myself to try to control and plan again - this is where the daily battle is found.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."   Proverbs 3:5-6

One of the very first verses I ever memorized and one of my absolute favorites. I even quote it to myself and to others quite often. But do I actually walk it out? Do I truly believe it? I want to, and with God's help - His continued grace and willingness to teach me, I will, more and more each day.

I feel the Lord beckoning to me. "Trust Me" He says. "Lean on Me." "Put all your hope in Me." "Focus on Me." "Renew your mind with My Word, every day." I think the biggest lesson I am learning, apart from my need to trust Him every moment of every day, is that there is no reason not to trust Him. As He reveals His overwhelming love towards me and His all sufficient grace for me, it just makes sense to trust Him.

As I am learning this, I have to remember how much of the battle takes place in my mind. This is why I need a steady dose of God's Word and lots of accountability and support from others. It doesn't take long at all for wrong thinking to creep back in and for those all too familiar feelings of worry and doubt to reappear.

So here's to continuing on this journey called life, and hopefully with each new day I will learn to trust my Savior more and more.

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
  • Refrain:
    Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
    How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
    Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
    Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

More of the "Sprinkles of Life"

"The Sprinkles of Life" 

5) People are ALWAYS more important than things.
  • Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also."
 6) Give people A LOT of grace.
  • Remember how much the Lord has given you and how much you have been forgiven.
  • Matthew 7:3-5 "And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
  • Matthew 18:23-34 "Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
    “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.