Monday, April 8, 2013

My (VERY) Imperfect Perfect Life

Hello,
My name is Hannah Elizabeth Moeckl, I am a 25 year old soon-to-be mother of two, wife, sister, daughter, friend & nurse (who is currently not working). I am extremely thankful for my life, family & friends. I know I am blessed beyond what I could ever deserve and most importantly I have been redeemed by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All those things make me feel like my life is perfect in many ways, but as far as having it all together and actually being the ideal image that I have of myself, let me assure you, I am FAR from perfect. My life is far from perfect.

The truth is that my house is usually somewhat messy and disorganized, there is almost always laundry that needs to be done and dishes waiting on the counter or in the sink to be cleaned.


There is always a closet, counter or cabinet that needs to be more organized.


There are usually crumbs on the counter and crumbs, dirt and hair on the floors. I sweep - sometimes, and I vacuum when we are having people over. I haven't mopped the floors since we moved in, in October (my sweet, very helpful husband may have mopped a couple times - thank the Lord for him)!! I scrub the bathrooms when they get really/noticeably dirty or when we are expecting company.

I rarely make my bed. I only brush my teeth once a day. I put make-up on only when I am going out of the house and usually just mascara. When I shower (usually every-other to every 2-3 days) I wash my face, and occasionally, I put on more make-up and fix my hair. Most days I am in black yoga pants and a tee-shirt. I am not nearly as in shape as I would like to be, I have (lots) of stretch marks and things that jiggle. I have gained more weight (34lbs so far) with this pregnancy than I anticipated/determined and I am not even done yet. I try to go walking, but right now, that is about it.

Many days my toddler stays in his PJs for the majority of the day.

I make dinner, a few times a week, the rest of the time we eat left overs or we go out/bring food in. I make myself and my kiddo a very healthy smoothy most mornings, but I also have dessert almost every night, and I don't skimp on the treats/snacks throughout the day. I try to limit Elijah's T.V. time, but he usually watches at least a couple shows every day.

I try to be purposeful with my time, but many days when Elijah naps I sit down on the couch with a snack and a show or two. I take quiet time (time with the Lord) most mornings. I am so thankful I have the time and freedom to do this right now, but sometimes I do other things instead, or sometimes it is not nearly as profound or intimate as it could be.

My husband and I try to walk in love and connect regularly, but sometimes we argue as soon as he walks in the door and sometimes we sit and watch a show together rather than expend the energy it takes to connect in other (often better) ways.

So, my sweet friends, sisters, brothers, fellow mothers, all that to say that I DO NOT have it all together. I fail to stick to resolutions or make the "right" choices over and over again. Sometimes I get really down about it, lots of times I like to hide all those imperfections. I am guilty of putting on masks and trying to act like I have it all together or pretending that my failures really don't bother me. Sometimes, I feel completely unworthy and downright shameful. At times, I truly think I have nothing to offer.

BUT, my wonderful, beautiful, amazing Savior keeps reminding me that His GRACE is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weaknesses.

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Corinthians 12:9

For this reason, I rejoice in my weaknesses and failures. It reminds me of how desperately I need a Savior, and it allows the Lord to show Himself strong in me/my life.

This exposure of myself is not to make any one feel better or worse about themselves, because, after all, we are not to compare ourselves among ourselves.

"For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." II Corinthians 10:12

Rather, this is an attempt at being raw and honest; An endeavor to point myself and hopefully others to Jesus. To remind us that our worth does not come from what we do, who we are, or how we look. That we are not better or worse for failing to live up to standards that we or others have set. That our life is not more or less perfect based on how clean our house is, how well behaved our children are, or how put together we look. We have value and worth because Jesus says we do, and our life can at least have perfect moments because of the blessings that Jesus has so graciously bestowed upon us.

I want the Lord to continue to challenge me and help me to grow in many areas. And, Lord willing, one day, I will be better and more disciplined in certain areas, but it will only be by His grace and through His strength. In the mean time (throughout the process), I want to be real and honest, because I have discovered that there is so much value in offering yourself JUST AS YOU ARE (today) - to others and to Jesus.




9 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful post Hannah! Thanks for being so real and honest; I can definitely relate to many of these things. It's an encouragement to be reminded that we don't have to be perfect to be loved by our Savior. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Cori! Thank you for saying you can relate. And I think we could all use the reminder on a daily basis - "we don't have to be perfect (or even close to it) to be loved". Hope you all are doing well! Miss being able to see you guys!

      Delete
  2. I love your honesty and messiness :) I wish I could be there with you and we could be messy together and drink coffee (all in our pj's). I love you and I love all of this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks sweet friend! And I love that idea - I think you all should get on a plane right now! I wish :) LOVE you too!!

      Delete
  3. I just love you, Hannah. Wish we were closer to one another.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Kem! I wish we lived closer too. It has been fun to reconnect via blogging and FB, but I would love to actually be able to do it in person. xoxo

      Delete
  4. Love all-day PJ days....we haven't gotten out of ours yet today. Don't really unless we're going somewhere, or are playing outisde (b/c footie PJs don't really work so well outside). There's no need to dirty something else. That just means more laundry that I'm terrible at doing. Thank you for being honest and reminding us that perfection is not our goal but that Jesus is! I seriously can't wait for you to have that lil girl so I can see her cuteness!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too - PJs are great!! :) all clothes should be so comfy ;) Thanks for appreciating my honesty rather than being appalled - haha! :) And I can't wait to have this lil girl either! Thanks for being excited with me! love n miss you guys! PS - LOVE seeing pics of your cuties - they are all precious!

      Delete
  5. Love this Hannah. It is a very raw post and I love everything about it. I needed to hear it. I don't want to pretend I'm someone I'm not and it's encouraging to hear that a clean house, and behaved children doesn't define who I am. Whew! A weight is lifted. Beautiful post sweet friend! Love you!

    ReplyDelete